Aaron Hanscom
“The idea of juggling responsibilities leads me to the other extreme: parents who play too great a role in their children’s lives. Piano lessons, tutoring, art classes and vacations to Europe can all be very enriching. But they become nothing more than highlights on a resume when they are forced upon a child whose life is completely controlled and scheduled.”
From the picture on his blog Mr. Hanscom looks like he is about 23.
I would like to encourage this young snippet of a writer to delay writing on parenting issues for, oh about, twenty five years. Find a nice young woman, get married, and then welcome a few screaming balls of fury into your life, and after those children have hit 18, please, share with us your views on how to properly parent the well adjusted child. That is, share your views when your own children prove to be well adjusted and are well mannered in public. A few distasteful anecdotes of your observations of supposedly poor parenting do not a well written essay make.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping children, especially teens, busy and occupied with worthwhile activities. I know, I’m living the lifestyle. How much better to have children out playing sports, participating in music and theatre, and busy with scouts and church activities than so bored and laden with free time that they spend precious youth getting into trouble and making mischief.
And there is nothing wrong with parents wanting children to have great success academically and get accepted or even a scholarship to a top university. We “helicopter” parents understand that life in America is a deadly proposition for young people. It sometimes feels like a sexual predator is waiting behind every door and a sexually transmited disease is lurking in the shadows of every relationship. We understand the risks involved in raising a child, but we also know the great joy of watching a child overcome a weakness, then make it a strength as they grow toward adulthood.
For a teacher to stereotype us as Hyper Parents, well perhaps this teacher feels more comfortable NOT being accountable to parents, actually likes being in control of all those young minds without being held accountable for failure to perform as a teacher. Parents who want the best for their children will NOT allow a teacher to slack off and just get by, and this may pose a threat to the teacher who does not want to do the work he or she was hired to do in making lesson plans and then teaching the children a set curriculum of knowledge and information.
Hyper Parenting or Thoughtful Stewardship of our little ones?
In my experience the most protective parents are the ones who are doing a superb job of raising well mannered, smart, and talented children. The mothers who are completely focused on helping their children to be well launched into adult life, who have sacrificed everything to wear the mantle of homemaker, are enjoying wonderful fruits after a lifetime of labor. I regularly watch the adult children of my friends happily marry, and start their own adult lives with grandchildren appearing soon, and young husbands and wives doing the work of providing for and raising their little ones.
Don’t judge something that you obviously don’t understand Mr. Hanscom. Protecting our children from the pitfalls of life is one of the main jobs of good parents. Because we live in a society whose pitfalls seem to be increasing at an alarming rate, if we seem Hyper, it is because we live in a Hyper world.
Jenny Hatch
UPDATE:
I had an email from Aaron this morning, this is what he wrote:
Dear Jenny,
Thanks for your comments on my piece. You make some great points.
However, since you write that I stereotype parents based on some random
encounters I’ve had, I must bring up some points in your post. You make
plenty of assumptions about me from my blog photo. I’m actually 30 years old
and married. While I don’t have children of my own, I have a younger brother
who is 15 years younger than me. I think that information counters the image
you seem to depict of a single guy in his young 20’s.
I just wanted to make that point. Thanks again though for reading. I’ll
check out your site in the future.
Regards,
Aaron
And my response:
Thanks for writing Aaron, I’ll share that information with my readers. I checked out your blog and it looks like you are a fellow conservative.
Parenting is one of the most difficult tasks my husband and I have taken on, and sometimes it feels like the harder we try, the more we get dumped on by various people who are childless and have no clue the many sacrifices and challenges we have had to face. Just yesterday I wanted to pull my hair out because my thirteen year old was on a rampage against his younger brother, saying he never helped to clean their room….etc…I don’t have all the answers, but I try so hard every day to teach our children well, and I know for a fact that some people in my day to day life think of me as one of those infamous helicopter parents.
Whirling off to make breakfast and get my family up and ready for school.
Jenny