Allison, Jenny, and Michelle

My two oldest daughters are at the age where they have many wonderful decisions to make regarding their future lives.

Over the weekend I had nice heart to heart chats with both Michelle (21) and Allison (18).  We talked about many different topics but as I chatted with Michelle about the current divorce rate of BYU students, which is unusually high, we talked about the various current events that are lining up to deprive young couples of the ability to make it financially and still welcome children into their homes.

Michelle told me about some friends who had made the choice to birth at home for financial reasons.  This young couple chose to give birth alone in an apartment for married couples on campus.  The birth went well.  Conversely, she told me about a young couple that is planning a hospital birth, who are also in school, who have just applied for Medicare to pay for the babes birth and pre and post natal care.  $8,000 minimum of funding for this precious child, paid by the American Taxpayer.  (And if the babe is born by c-section, vaccine damaged, needs NICU care and/or Mama has psychiatric problems, that number could quickly explode exponentially)

As we talked about current realities around health care, preparing for the job market, and the choice to have children early in marriage or wait for financial stability before jumping into family life, one of the things that came to my mind was the Young Woman theme that is a part of the Program for teens age 12 to 18.  This wonderful program was the one I attended as a teen and with Allison graduating from High School in a few months, it is the program that both of our daughters have actively participated in since Michelle was 12 in 2000.

The theme of the program, which is said out loud every week by all of the young women is below:

“We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.

We will “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things,
and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live
the Young Women values, which are:

Faith

Divine Nature

Individual Worth

Knowledge

Choice and Accountability

Good Works

Integrity and

Virtue.

We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values,
we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.”

Also associated with the Young Women program are a motto and logo.

The Young Women motto is “Stand for Truth and Righteousness.”

The Young Women logo is a torch surrounded by the Young Women motto. The torch represents the light of Christ, inviting all to “come unto Christ” (Moroni 10:32).

It invites all young women to hold up the light of Christ by keeping His commandments.

As I chatted with the girls about the financial bondage that comes with students loans and living on credit to “get the degree” as so many of their friends are doing, and the realities of the current bleak job market, I asked them if they truly wanted to be full time stay at home mothers.  I told them that perhaps the greatest gift they could offer to future husbands was simply a strong and healthy body, a willing heart, no credit card debt, and no students loans to pay off during the early years of their marriages.

As we discussed these important issues, I wondered about the message that is being sent to our young daughters, the future Mothers of the next generation.  Mormon culture is riddled with mixed messages on how best to live and provide for our families.  On the one hand young couples are encouraged to get an education, to be as educated as possible to compete in the worlds work force.  And the message that accompanies that directive is that the most ideal job situations are those that include full health and dental benefits.  “Honorable” work is often touted as being those jobs that will provide the health care “necessary” to have a family.

A mixed message in the assumption that the only way and means of being parents and providing well for our children to is be able to take our babes to the doctor when they are sick or when they are being born.

Sometimes I wonder if the mixed message sent to the young mormon girls tacked on to the list of desirable attributes outlined in the Young Woman theme could also include:

Faith

Divine Nature

Individual Worth

Knowledge

Choice and Accountability

Good Works

Integrity and

Virtue

Give Birth in the Hospital

Use Psychiatric Meds for Depression

Vaccinate your Children

Don’t ask Questions

Mormon culture is defined by Family Life and if that Family life is being damaged by the current economic realities around the health care boondoggle, I would challenge young couples, just as I challenged my young daughters this past weekend, to think out of the current societal box and consider that a healthy family can and even should be created without the bells and whistles of medical orthodoxy and practice as a vital portion of the family budget.

It is obvious that many young couples are in fact weaning away from medical birth and taking personal responsibility for the health and wellbeing of their families. Some young Mormon couples are also engaged in varying degrees of responsibility, but too many seem skittish to take on these important responsibilities until they have the job, the degree,  or the private health care that is constantly pushed by well meaning religious leaders and parents who have not considered that any other reality beyond what is socially acceptable exists.

Many couples are simply crushed by the economics of husband/wife indebtedness, student loans, credit card debt, and unrealistic financial expectations once they graduate from school.

For those couples who truly plan to welcome a large family into their home, these economic realities should be confronted head on, alternatives to current socially acceptable ways and means of birthing and healing children should be explored, and extended family in the form of grandparents and siblings should embrace the choices of these young couples as they wean from the current overpriced medical nightmare.

Parents should be asking questions, lots of questions, and if the pediatrician does not like the questions and threatens to dump them as patients, DUMP AWAY!

Some families who question the number of vaccines currently being offered to babes are finding themselves pounding the pavement looking for a supportive pediatrician.

I don’t know that my children and their spouses will choose to give birth alone at home, nor do I know that they will turn their backs on all toxic medicines and dental care.  The overwhelming pressure to use vaccines, antibiotics, toxic mercury amalgams in the teeth, and Allopathic Drugs and Surgery is such a huge part of American Culture, I am not sure if they will be able to pull away and keep their little ones free from all of the toxic “healing”.  But I would like them to know that if and when they choose to pull out of those systems of health care, a safe place will be waiting that is filled with empowering information, sound natural healing, and financial freedom.

It will be interesting to see how things develop.  Paul and I have made our choices regarding health care for our children, and they will also have to make similar choices for an in behalf of their little ones and then live with the consequences, whatever they may be.

It is my prayer that as my daughters become Mothers they will be wise in how they use the family dollars available for health care, and if and when they choose to learn the many skills of self reliant mothering, I would hope that they will be supported by family and friends and not beat up too badly by societal expectations and faulty traditions of all things medical all the time.

Jenny Hatch

*All pictures taken at the Boulder Stake Girls Camp 2008 where Michelle was Ward Camp Director and Allison was a Youth Camp Leader and I was just along for the fun time.