Taking a private jet to a conference on stopping global warming is a bit like traveling in a sedan chair carried by indentured servants to a summit on stopping human trafficking. Except we’re the ones they want to enslave. If they get their way, they’ll crush us with taxes, make our energy bills skyrocket, and otherwise cut our standard of living back to 19th-century levels. “Okay, you guys sit there shivering in the dark while we whoop it up with some Copenhagen hookers!” All because “the science is settled,” when anybody with an Internet connection can find out for themselves just how unsettled the science really is. And, of course, because it’s just not fair that we live better than any other human beings in the history of the world. Why don’t you feel more guilty?

If the only way to save the planet is to help destroy the planet, then… maybe we’re not really destroying the planet? These guys don’t really believe what they’re saying — that we’re on the verge of a global apocalypse because of anthropogenic global warming, or man-made climate change, or whatever they’re calling it this week — or else they’d never burn another ounce of fuel in their lives. They’d never go anywhere that can’t be reached on foot, and even then, they’d try to find a way to lower their CO2 emissions. Hey, how about putting a dry-cleaning bag over your head and securing it with duct tape? I’ll help!