My Homebirth Story
“When Lynn first mentioned the idea of giving birth to our baby at home I told her she was crazy! No way was I going to allow that. I was the man of the house and it was my responsibility to protect and watch out for the well being of the family and I just felt that giving birth at home away from the professional medical support was just plain irresponsible if not downright dangerous. Well, that was because I had bought into the prevailing notion that childbirth is inherently risky and fraught with danger that requires the constant supervision of trained medical people. Little did I know just how wrong that notion was.
Lynn does not give into me that easily so she worked and worked on me to educate me about the idea of homebirth. I am not too stubborn and will change my mind if I am presented with new information so I did some reading and listened to Lynn with an open mind. It was when I read Marilyn Moran’s book Birth a Dialogue of Love that I realized we should have a homebirth.
It was Marilyn who made me realize that birth is part of a couple’s love just as conception is. I concluded that I was missing something from our four prior hospital births. I was not a participant; I didn’t have a role to play; I was extra. I just stood around trying to talk soothingly to Lynn and holding her hand (when she let me), but the focus of attention was on the medical surroundings and all the interventions, the constant stream of strangers into the room to check on progress, to hook up the fetal monitor, to insert the IV during one of the births.
I felt so unneeded one time I went and got myself a sandwich for lunch, leaving Lynn there knowing the medical people would be watching her. I know that seems pretty cold and heartless of me, but I feel that the situation contributed to that. As I recall, it was actually the doctor who suggested I go to get some lunch.
Then we got close to delivery (still talking about the other four hospital deliveries) and that’s when I really became superfluous. In all four of our hospital births there would come a time during labor when Lynn would not want to hear from me or touch me. One time she actually told a nurse she wanted to hear her, not me, and wouldn’t let me touch her.”
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“Guys, if you want to gain a whole new appreciation for the miracle of life and for your wife then catch your own baby. You’ll also feel more of an attachment to that child too. I feel different about Millicent than my other four that were caught by doctors in the hospital. I don’t mean to say I love Millicent any more than Robby, Melanie, Hilary or Christina.
I love all my children as unique and special gifts from God entrusted by him to my and Lynn’s care, but there is just something there with Millicent that isn’t with the others. I really believe she even reacted to my voice differently as an infant, almost as if she knew that I was the first one to hold her. I should have had that with all my children and if I had it to do over again, I would have had all of them at home.
©Bob Griesemer, 2000”
Jenny Hatch