I thought this study was really interesting. So many of the points the author emphasized rang true for our marriage and I feel like he has done an excellent job of analyzing the results of his study.
This paragraph in the Newsweek article seemed especially relevant to our marriage…
“So housecleaning and happiness are related?
In writing the book, I kept seeing the parallel between housework and sex in the interviews. Men said the happier their wives were in the division of housework, the happier the men were with their sex lives. We even looked at the numbers and found that there’s more sex in the relationship if the wife is happy with the division of housework. It doesn’t have to be exactly equal, the wife just has to think it’s fair.”
For me it is so much more an energy issue than a fairness feeling. If I am exhausted by doing my work all day long, and burn those last few ounces of energy doing housework into the evening hours, intimacy with my husband is the last thing on my mind. But if Paul comes into our home after his day at work, and unloads the dishwasher, and puts away a load of laundry, or helps in any way around the house, it completely endears him to me and I feel so much more energized.
I have told him a couple of times when he was doing the evening dishes, “you know this is foreplay activity you are engaging in…”
Read the whole article it is really positive information, especially this final paragraph…
What most surprised you most in doing these interviews?
“One thing that strikes me was that 60 percent of men said that their wives had changed them in a significant way and 90 percent said that it was a change for the better. I would agree with the statement that you don’t go into a relationship expecting to change a man. But, men recognize that marriage is life-changing, and they usually like their wives enough to be changed by her. Men don’t want to criticized or nagged or complained to, they want to be accepted, but once they feel accepted, they are willing to change.”
I did not go into my marriage feeling the need to change my husband, on so many levels he was more highly disciplined and mature than I was when we met. He has continued to be a spiritual force in our home and he certainly has better manners and is more gentle in his demeanor than I am. I love him with all my heart and am so grateful for the compatibility and friendship we share. We went out to dinner for Valentines Day and as we walked into the restaurant holding hands I just had a comfortable feeling of being Home. Safe. Loved. and… Cherished.
What more could a woman want in life???
Here is the link again…
Jenny Hatch