First Inconvenient Truth, by the numbers. Danish authorities have confirmed that at least 140 private jets, including Climate Mufti Al Gore’s, will be shuttling back and forth many of the expected 16,500 delegates for the upcoming Carbonhagen Climate Change Slummit in Denmark. Since most delegates will be flying in, that averages out to approximately 16,500 falling polar bears, based on an average of 400kg of carbon generated per air passenger. Heads up, delegates! This Slummit is a Hard Hat Zone…

…Let’s have real public debates by qualified people. Unfortunately, that will not happen at Carbonhagen. Only enough CO2 for Morocco for a year. Just ask the skeptical scientists who’ve been shut out of the Slummit. They’ll do the math for ya. In a way, aren’t the Greens holding this carbon-spewing polar bear-murdering abomination a lot like the big kid in class telling everyone else not to fart letting out a skunk-killer? Not very scientific, I admit. I try to fill the gaps with logic. See how that works? Lastly, Christmas trees have been banned from the Slummit. I reckon that town’s only big enough for one religion, pardner!”