Another really great post by Sus, and with thoughts by Melissa that are proof positive she should be writing her own blog…

“Most of us who have overcome fear and pain during birth, and experienced joy instead of sorrow, want to share this Good News with other pregnant women. However, this is not always easy. Most of the women I have tried to reach out to IRL, at church especially (and most frustratingly) have responded, “No, I am not interested in natural childbirth, I just want an epidural.”

This topic came up on a list I am on. We were asked to offer advice on what books to share with a friend who has somewhat of an interest in homebirth. One woman named Melissa gave a response that I think needs to be shared here for the benefit of those who have a desire to share the Good News with those that they meet. This is it:
I know that this is going to sound snarky, and I really don’t mean for it to, but I have heavily invested in other people’s decisions and had them crash and burn andI took a level of responsibility for it and I don’t like the flavor of that meal.
I tend not to invest myself very heavily in spoon-feeding people anymore. Too much wasted time, wasted effort, and wasted emotion too many times. If a pregnant woman really wants the information, and really wants to have a homebirth (or natural birth,) then she will.
I guess I look on it as the same way with a woman who really wants to Breastfeed. She will do it to the point of nursing through a tongue-tie, or with one breast or, having other moms donate milk and using a SNS or having a friend wet nurse. (It’s about desire and determination.)
There are plenty of books and Internet sites and e-mail lists to get on. I mean it’s not 1997 anymore, like when I was searching desperately for information and did not even know what search terms to use for my web-crawler search on dial-up. Does this woman want it to be different this time, or is this just wishful thinking and hero worship? How much responsibility do you have for her and how will it affect the relationship if she crashes and burns? How hard is she going to fight for what she wants? What is the birth climate in the hospital there? What are the options for homebirth? Does she have a doula on board?
Henci Goer’s books are good in dealing with intervention research etc, but they are getting aged. As far as researched based evidence, they do not give rationale for alternatives, only that intervention usually cascades and is a set up in danger land. My biggest concerns with a decision for unmedicated hospital birth would be getting a birth plan together, developing labor coping skills, and evaluation of the care provider for a potential need to switch. (Those concerns would change with home birth and UC.)
Pregnancy, childbirth and the Newborn by Penny Simpkin et al is good for a hospital birth plan. She needs to get people around her who are going to support her and not be mentally disastrous for her preparations. (That would ax most LDS women.)
As far as the typical view of childbirth being terrifying: Childbirth is scary and unsafe when you play the part of the good patient, take no thought for your responsibility…, ride the razor edge of intervened labor, feel great getting off with only a 2 day NICU stay and praise the Lord that you either missed the C-section by a hair’s breath, or got that “Necessary emergency c-section” and were in the blessed hands of the glorious Priest of Modern medicine, and then stand up in sacrament meeting praising the Lord that Man has saved you and yours. (Heard that 2 times in one Sacrament meeting last month.) Then because of the PPD, (and the only thing that matters is that you have a “Healthy” baby,) you go on Zoloft or Prozac or some other SSRI to combat the pain and grief (that you know as an LDS woman nurturing children [who are the Heritage of the Lord] you should not have.)
Is it any wonder why the rising generation is terrified of birth and the whoreship of the God of Medicine is rife in our culture?
Wow. Melissa never has minced words. She speaks from the heart and is a straight shooter. Here her words testify of the frustration that we often feel toward women who we believe are just following erroneous traditions instead of seeking gospel truths and applying their faith to the trial of birth, as they do with other trials.
We may want to help others find the joy that we have found, but as with sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the ground needs to be fertile for the seed to take root.
Amen sisters….
Jenny Hatch